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Why More Isn't Always Better

· 6 min read
Agastya Darma
Agastya Darma
Sushi Lovers

Hedonic Treadmill

Audio Overview​


A few years ago, I realized something unsettling that no matter what I achieved or acquired, the satisfaction was always temporary. I’d set a goal, work hard, reach it, and feel an initial surge of excitement but only to find myself asking, “What’s next?” almost immediately.

At first, I thought this was just ambition. But the more I paid attention, the more I noticed a pattern that was leaving me perpetually unsatisfied. Turns out, there’s a name for this. The hedonic treadmill which are the idea that no matter what happens, we eventually return to a baseline level of happiness, always craving more and more. If you’ve ever felt stuck in this cycle, you’re not alone.

The Never-Ending Chase​

I remember the first time I convinced myself this thing would finally make me happy. It was a brand new phone, the one I had been obsessing over for months. When I finally got it, I was thrilled but after a few weeks, it became just another object in my life. The excitement had vanished, and I was already thinking about what else I wanted next.

The same thing happened with achievements. I worked hard to land my "dream job," thinking it would feel like I had arrived. Yet, just a few months in, I found myself setting new goals, feeling just as restless as before.

This is the hedonic treadmill in action. We convince ourselves that once we get the next promotion, the next gadget, or the next trip, we’ll finally feel satisfied. But as soon as we achieve it, our mind moves the goalpost. And the chase starts all over again.

The Social Media Trap​

The problem was worsened by social media. Every time I opened Instagram, I saw people traveling to exotic places, buying luxury cars, and living what appeared to be their "best lives." It was an endless highlight reel, making me feel like I was falling behind and I needed to do more, have more, be more .

This created an unhealthy urgency. I started making decisions based on what I thought success “should” look like, rather than what actually made me happy. It felt like a race, one where I needed to catch up to everyone else who seemed to be winning at life.

At one point, I had a thought that really shook me: What happens if I rush through all the "big life moments" too soon? If I checked off all the major milestones in my 20s—traveling to dream destinations, buying expensive things, chasing achievements, would I still have anything meaningful to look forward to? The idea of reaching a point where nothing felt exciting anymore was terrifying.

That’s when I realized that living life as a speedrun wasn’t making me happy. It was just making me exhausted.

Learning to Slow Down​

The turning point came when I started making intentional choices instead of impulsive ones. Instead of constantly upgrading my life at every opportunity, I embraced the idea of pacing it out by leaving room for future excitement, rather than burning through it all at once.

Here’s what changed:

  • I stopped upgrading everything immediately. My first car after getting a job was nothing fancy. In fact, I didn’t even buy a car until I actually needed one. At the time, it felt like a smart financial decision, but looking back, it also taught me something valuable: the joy of gradual progress. If I had rushed to get a luxury car right away, it would have set an unsustainable expectation for what I needed to feel satisfied. By starting with something simple and practical, I was able to appreciate each upgrade over time, making every step feel more meaningful instead of just another checkbox on the path to "success."

  • I traveled without intention at first, but I learned to pace myself. In my early 20s, I was eager to check off every bucket list destination as soon as I had the time and money to do so. I jumped at every opportunity to travel, thinking that experiencing as much as possible, as quickly as possible, would make my life feel more exciting and fulfilling. But after a while, I noticed that the thrill of each trip faded faster than I expected. I started wondering if I kept going at this pace, would I eventually reach a point where I had already "done it all" before I even had a chance to truly appreciate it? That realization shifted my mindset. Instead of rushing through experiences, I decided to be more intentional, spacing out my travels and choosing trips that held deeper meaning at different stages of my life. Now, I still have incredible places left to visit, and the excitement of looking forward to new adventures hasn’t diminished.

  • I learned to enjoy the journey, not just the goal. For the longest time, I saw my accomplishments as trophies things to check off a list so I could prove to myself (and maybe others) that I was moving forward. But once I achieved something, the satisfaction was always fleeting, and I felt the pressure to chase the next milestone immediately. Over time, I started shifting my perspective. Instead of focusing solely on the finish line, I began finding joy in the process itself whether it was learning a new skill, improving at my work, or simply growing as a person. By embracing the experience rather than fixating on the outcome, I found a deeper and more lasting sense of fulfillment.

This mindset shift completely changed how I approached life. Instead of expecting happiness to come from the next big thing, I started finding joy in the present without the pressure of constantly chasing more.

Final Thoughts​

Stepping off the hedonic treadmill doesn’t mean giving up ambition or settling for less. It just means understanding that more isn’t always better and that happiness isn’t something you’ll find at the finish line, because the finish line keeps moving.

True satisfaction comes from creating a life where joy isn’t just about achieving the next goal, but about appreciating where you are right now . If you’re constantly chasing, you’ll always feel behind. But if you learn to pace yourself, you’ll find that happiness isn’t something to be pursued but it’s something to be lived.

  1. How To Make The Most Out of Your 20s - Y Combinator: A YouTube video providing advice on maximizing personal and professional growth during your twenties. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_XMqRhLhic

  2. The Hedonic Treadmill - Personal MBA: An explanation of the hedonic treadmill effect and strategies for breaking free from its cycle. https://personalmba.com/hedonic-treadmill/